My path in therapy
I came to therapy after graduating from the Faculty of Psychology at Lomonosov Moscow State University, though not right away. First I tried therapy (narrative practice) as a client. Then I trained and started working. Later I experienced EMDR therapy as a client and trained in that approach as well. This is my 12th year of counseling (since 2013). I work under regular supervision and have been seeing my own therapist for 12 years. Below you can learn more about different aspects of my experience, my view of working with people, and my professional limitations.
I came to therapy after graduating from the Faculty of Psychology at Lomonosov Moscow State University, though not right away. First I tried therapy (narrative practice) as a client. Then I trained and started working. Later I experienced EMDR therapy as a client and trained in that approach as well. This is my 12th year of counseling (since 2013). I work under regular supervision and have been seeing my own therapist for 12 years. Below you can learn more about different aspects of my experience, my view of working with people, and my professional limitations.
Short-term and long-term work
Do I take on short-term work?
- Yes, when:
1. the request is very specific and clear to me, the client’s state is stable, and the client knows exactly how many sessions they can take (for example: one session. Or: two sessions).
2. there is no specific request (only a vague one), provided the state is stable and it is clear how much time we have;
3. the request is for psychological first aid + the person is able to understand speech and speak coherently (and I have at least one session to work with)
- No, when:
1. the state is unstable + the request is not about stabilization;
2. the request is very specific and requires in-depth work with traumatic experience and building a strong connection between therapist and client + the client understands they can afford only a small number of sessions (5–10 sessions, for example);
3. the wish is to solve a very big and undefined life problem very quickly, or to cope with a major difficulty in a very limited time (for example, in 3 sessions).
- Yes, when:
1. the request is very specific and clear to me, the client’s state is stable, and the client knows exactly how many sessions they can take (for example: one session. Or: two sessions).
2. there is no specific request (only a vague one), provided the state is stable and it is clear how much time we have;
3. the request is for psychological first aid + the person is able to understand speech and speak coherently (and I have at least one session to work with)
- No, when:
1. the state is unstable + the request is not about stabilization;
2. the request is very specific and requires in-depth work with traumatic experience and building a strong connection between therapist and client + the client understands they can afford only a small number of sessions (5–10 sessions, for example);
3. the wish is to solve a very big and undefined life problem very quickly, or to cope with a major difficulty in a very limited time (for example, in 3 sessions).
Short-term and long-term work
The therapeutic relationship
What is the therapeutic relationship?
It is the relationship that forms between therapist and client, and research shows it is one of the most important therapeutic factors (that is, it is what “heals”).
Why is that? Because it recreates processes that also happen in ordinary relationships, but, unlike in ordinary ones, here you go through them “with a safety net”: my therapeutic work on our contact.
The therapeutic relationship has a number of rules. It cannot include a personal relationship. In fact, it cannot be dual, triple and so on at all. For example, if you and I are working together on some project, I won’t be able to take you on in therapy. Why this matters: so that I can build a truly helpful interaction between us in our work, one not influenced by outside processes, by what we know about each other, or by obligations. If the relationship is dual, it becomes impossible to interpret what happens in the therapeutic relationship as a result of the therapy.
Why is it important at all to keep in mind that a relationship is taking place? Because the therapeutic process is a good “place”, a “field”, where those behavioral and emotional reactions of yours that are linked to attachment can unfold. Roughly speaking, in therapy something may start happening to you that resembles what once happened, or is happening now, in your close relationships. And that is good material for working with these patterns (if you ask for it).
Why else does the therapeutic contact matter? It may seem that I’m contradicting myself now, but I’ll say it: in general, a good, solid contact between therapist and client is a prerequisite for working with traumatic experience. Clients differ in their ability to build trust with a therapist. If you find it hard to establish contact with other people and stay in it, the therapeutic contact may also take a while to develop.
Who is responsible for establishing contact? Opinions differ on this. I think the therapist is 60–65% responsible for the contact with the client, and the client 35–40%. At the same time, both of them are not only therapist and client, but also human beings. And what sets the therapist apart from the client here is that the therapist is trained to be aware of what is happening to them in this relationship and to use it in the client’s interest. That is what I try to do.
It is the relationship that forms between therapist and client, and research shows it is one of the most important therapeutic factors (that is, it is what “heals”).
Why is that? Because it recreates processes that also happen in ordinary relationships, but, unlike in ordinary ones, here you go through them “with a safety net”: my therapeutic work on our contact.
The therapeutic relationship has a number of rules. It cannot include a personal relationship. In fact, it cannot be dual, triple and so on at all. For example, if you and I are working together on some project, I won’t be able to take you on in therapy. Why this matters: so that I can build a truly helpful interaction between us in our work, one not influenced by outside processes, by what we know about each other, or by obligations. If the relationship is dual, it becomes impossible to interpret what happens in the therapeutic relationship as a result of the therapy.
Why is it important at all to keep in mind that a relationship is taking place? Because the therapeutic process is a good “place”, a “field”, where those behavioral and emotional reactions of yours that are linked to attachment can unfold. Roughly speaking, in therapy something may start happening to you that resembles what once happened, or is happening now, in your close relationships. And that is good material for working with these patterns (if you ask for it).
Why else does the therapeutic contact matter? It may seem that I’m contradicting myself now, but I’ll say it: in general, a good, solid contact between therapist and client is a prerequisite for working with traumatic experience. Clients differ in their ability to build trust with a therapist. If you find it hard to establish contact with other people and stay in it, the therapeutic contact may also take a while to develop.
Who is responsible for establishing contact? Opinions differ on this. I think the therapist is 60–65% responsible for the contact with the client, and the client 35–40%. At the same time, both of them are not only therapist and client, but also human beings. And what sets the therapist apart from the client here is that the therapist is trained to be aware of what is happening to them in this relationship and to use it in the client’s interest. That is what I try to do.
I receive supervision
I work under supervision. I have 2 regular supervisors with broad training (certified EMDR supervisors, IFS therapists, CCT therapists). Besides that, I consult experienced therapists who specialize in various topics relevant to my work with a client. For example, “adoptive parenting”, “substance addiction”, “destructive family of origin”, “experience of domestic violence”, “adult ADHD”, “autism spectrum disorder”, “working with people with dementia”, “transgender people”, and any other topics my practice may bring me.
How does supervision work? Supervision rests on the same ethical principles as therapy. It takes place in full confidentiality, in a separate room where it is just me and my supervisor. Apart from the supervision room, everything that happens in supervision can end up in only one place: back in my session with the client, in the form of new discoveries and ideas for shaping our work.
Why does it matter that I work under supervision? With my supervisor, we think through how best to help the client. A supervisor can offer me a kind of “mirror” of the processes going on inside me while I work. Together we consider how to interpret them in the client’s interest.
How does supervision work? Supervision rests on the same ethical principles as therapy. It takes place in full confidentiality, in a separate room where it is just me and my supervisor. Apart from the supervision room, everything that happens in supervision can end up in only one place: back in my session with the client, in the form of new discoveries and ideas for shaping our work.
Why does it matter that I work under supervision? With my supervisor, we think through how best to help the client. A supervisor can offer me a kind of “mirror” of the processes going on inside me while I work. Together we consider how to interpret them in the client’s interest.
Who I don’t work with / my limitations
- people who find it hard to trust a helping professional, or me personally;
- people whose personality traits fall under the definition of “borderline personality disorder” (BPD)*, as well as narcissistic personality disorder;
- * – to anticipate possible questions: yes, you may not know that you have BPD or NPD; they are hard to diagnose, and if during our work I realize that what you are experiencing points to these conditions, I will definitely refer you to a more qualified specialist;
- people with OCD (obsessive-compulsive disorder). I am willing to help people with OCD. However, if working on OCD is your main request, I won’t be effective here. You would do better to see a cognitive behavioral therapist;
- people suffering from sleep disorders. I have no special training for this. Nor do I have contacts of specialists in sleep disorders. I can take on work with a person if their sleep difficulties are part of, for example, depression, and can be relieved with medication
How to start working with me
You read about me on this website
You send a request
We agree on expectations and the time of our first meeting
We meet
Contact me
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